Two-year-old twin sisters Clover, left, and Crimson were too enamoured with their pancakes to put much thought into what to ask Santa for. (Photo - Andrew Bailey)

Behest of the West: Hark, the clutches of Santa’s claws are harrowing

I believe I may soon be painted the colour of comeuppance.

Santa has never been more terrifying.

Throughout my life, three specific and inexplicable fears have triggered my amygdala’s flight-mode: clowns, the number nine and broken glass.

The reasons for that particular trifecta of terror are far too personal and nonsensical to be noteworthy. What is important, is that a fourth member is creeping towards the list that I’m starting to think will dwarf them all. To quote Jack Skeleton, “They call him Sandy Claws.”

I carted my kids to Santa’s lap twice this month. The holiday spirit is a tornado I enjoy being swept into.

Crimson and Clover are too adorable to see beyond the pageantry of it all. Their two-year-old eyes saw pancakes put, and cut, in front of them, which stirred up more than enough delight, especially when chased by the bask of infinitely swooning and gleefully shrieking adults snapping endless photos of their happy faces.

Junior though, is four and, when it comes to Santa Claus, that age-group is a whole new ballgame. He loves pancakes as much as his sisters, but he’s connected dots they haven’t figured out yet. This Santa cat grants wishes.

He met Santa politely and smiled for the camera each time, but neither Tofino or Ucluelet’s visit was a social one. His sisters soaked up the pleasure. He was there on business. An assignment was tasked. Clear direction was given. His request was soundly delivered and the hope on his face was palpable.

I’m not saying Santa won’t come through, but, if you read this column regularly, you know I have a complicated relationship with that so-called elf due to a Nintendo that never came.

I’m all too familiar with the tears my mom lived through each year that one thing I’d asked Santa for didn’t appear under the tree. I believe I may soon be painted the colour of comeuppance.

I’ll either have a heroic song of victory or sorrowful sob-story of defeat to share with you soon.

You won’t hear it next week though. This is your last Westerly News of 2017.

We’ll be nestled far too deep in good tidings to submit any pages for your perusal on Dec. 27. News has knack for never stopping however, so holiday elves tip-toeing into our office to throw an update or two onto our website or Facebook page now and then is a sound investment for your bottom dollar.

Thank you for reading and thank you more for making it so fantastically easy for your local news crew to find fascinating stories to share.

Interesting people living in interesting communities during interesting times had us working in an open-bar of inspiring delight in 2017.

We’re blessed you invited us to it.

Merry Christmas West Coast. See you next year.

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

Provincial COVID-19 data can now be used for B.C. to prepare for a second wave

In the past week, B.C. has seen a slight spike in daily test-positive case counts

‘Someone knows something’: a look into Vancouver Island missing persons with interactive map

There are more than three dozen people listed as missing throughout Vancouver Island

Big Beach parties spark concern in Ucluelet

“You find needles, left over party debris, bottles and still burning fires.”

Ucluelet’s Terrace Beach Resort is for sale

The commercial offering of 21 suites and cabins was recently listed for $4,495,000

Young tourist caught untying boats from Ucluelet dock

“He was just untying the boats and watching them float away,” said Harbour Master Kevin Cortes.

Islanders want BC Ferries to follow order that lets residents board before tourists

For ferry-dependent communities, ferries are often the sole practical lifeline to work, school or medical appointments.

Beverly Hills 90210 star’s family selling Vancouver Island Beach Resort

You can own Jason Priestley’s Terrace Beach Resort in Ucluelet for less than $5 million

Genetic detectives begin work to trace spread of COVID-19 in Canada

The kinds of genetic technology being used for this project did not exist when SARS hit Canada in 2003

Sports fishers protest Fraser River Chinook closures

Public Fishery Alliance wants hatchery fish open for harvest

B.C. Ferries increasing passenger capacity after COVID-19 restrictions

Transport Canada 50-per-cent limit being phased out, no current plans to provide masks

Shellfish industry get funds to clean up at Island sites and beyond

Businesses can apply to cover half of costs to clean up so-called ‘ghost gear’

Amber Alert for two Quebec girls cancelled after bodies found

Romy Carpentier, 6, Norah Carpentier, 11, and their father, Martin Carpentier, missing since Wednesday

B.C. man prepares to be first to receive double-hand transplant in Canada

After the surgery, transplant patients face a long recovery

Most Read